As I sit in my writing chair; writing candle lit, warm blanket on my lap and the light of the laptop and my salt lamp casting a glow around me, I am overcome by how much this blog, Ever Upward, has changed me, even in just a few short months.

232323232-fp537;5-nu=327;-365-774-WSNRCG=34786-538232-nu0mrjThe people I have ‘met’ through the blogging world.

The people I have reconnected with through my writings.

The strangers, who are no longer strangers because of this sad but full of understanding connection.

The ‘I get it’s’.

The ‘thank you’s’.

The authentically braves.

The warriors in my arena.

The connections.

Telling my story to heal myself, and to also practice and build credibility for my book, has really led me to more wholeness through connection.

The biggest lesson of my IVF and finding my childfree journey?

Connection is what it is all about it, as my relationships have been a huge part of my survival and continued thriving.

Relationships are the continued focus in positive psychology and research continues to demonstrate how much relationships heal us all; making us better and happier people.

My continued lesson is that this healing is through all of my relationships; the fellow warriors, true friends, limited supporters, and even, the incapables. Because, relationships change and grow, because we change and grow.

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The relationships I have with my limited supporters, and even the incapables, may not be the most poignant, meaningful or deep right now. But that doesn’t mean they will remain that way forever. However, it may mean I need to limit how vulnerable I am with you, how much I let you into my life, and how much effort I put in, as you choose to simply not get it. You choose to not see me or know me, and therefore not love me unconditionally. As Brené Brown, writes and speaks, if you aren’t “daring greatly” in my arena, I’m not interested in your feedback.

And though, the limited supporters and incapables can make it feel as if they are in the stands of our arenas; denying, shaming and not getting us, they are still there. Sure, maybe we need to ask some of them to leave our arena altogether, but maybe, just maybe, one day the spectators can become our fellow warriors.

Because things change, and people change.

I’ve changed…

This limited love and understanding may not be forever. And the only thing I can do is to continue to live my authentic truth, asking for what I want and need from my loved ones, and accepting their limitations.

Because one day, the incapable just might finally see my bravery in battle and decide to join me in the arena. But, only if I never stop believing in my own “daring greatly” and ever upward.

Because our light, our path, our ever upward is in owning our story no matter the understanding we receive back.

4 thoughts on “Can Our Incapables in the Stands Become Our Warriors in the Arena?

  1. Michelle says:

    I am touched by each and every post you write! You are a beautiful writer ❤ So proud to have you in my life… My soul sister.

    Like

    1. jlbf4 says:

      Thank you! Love you!

      Like

  2. busynothing says:

    So tough, this stuff. I can feel the struggle and yearning in this one. Or maybe I’m just projecting my own. I do get solace in knowing that it works both ways. I am certainly an “incapable” in the lives of some of those I love. It’s never a good feeling or easy to admit. And I’m sure I’m an “incapable” instances I don’t even realize. We need to forgive and be easy with it, even when that means taking distance or letting relationships flow their separate ways for a while.

    Like

    1. jlbf4 says:

      So true! You’re right we need to forgive and be easy with it…

      Like

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