My latest and original, HuffPost Parents piece has brought out a lot of the judgers, haters and miseducated. Unfortunately, I guess I am not all that surprised, but I do feel more disheartened.

We have a lot of work to do.

Little do they know, their hate and ignorance only feeds my light. They sure are loud on this piece but ever upward is louder.


Why ‘At Peace’ Will Never Describe Survivors of Infertility

Surviving through infertility changes us forever.

Choosing to thrive thereafter simply means we figure out how to live the rest of our lives with our forever scarred soul, and yet do the work of healing every day.

A couple of weeks ago I participated in a faith testimony at my church. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. We each walked out on stage, in front of thousands, holding a piece of cardboard; one side stating our struggle and then flipping to the other side of how our faith has changed us.

Continue reading here.

20 thoughts on “Surviving Infertility: Why ‘At Peace’ May Never Describe It

  1. Justine, I am simply appalled at some of the comments on Huff Post. I understand that it’s mostly ignorance, but I am saddened that readers can use such hurtful words. It reiterates my belief that one just doesn’t FULLY get it unless he/she has personally been through it. I commend you for putting yourself out there, and I am happy to see so many in our community backing you up. Please continue doing what you’re doing. We need your voice!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It has been shocking to say the least, but also motivating! Thank you for reading and for leaving your words, I need these positive ones to get through this. Justine

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I just read your HuffPost piece this morning before seeing your blog post here. I actually sent the piece to my husband and asked him to read it. We were just talking about peace in relation to infertility last night. I was saying that I don’t ever feel like I’ll be at peace, and when I read your HuffPost piece I was relieved that I wasn’t alone in that feeling. We are staring down the barrel of what will be our last fertility treatment. If that doesn’t work, we would love to adopt, but I just don’t know if we can afford the 40K price tag without putting ourselves in a bad financial place. Not to mention the additional strain the adoption process would put on our relationship. So our conversation last night was all about if, after these years of heartbreak, we don’t end up with a second child (we are lucky to have one already). I know I’ll survive it, but be at peace? I’m not sure. So thank you for your for making me feel less alone in my feelings. And thank you also for acknowledging secondary infertility.


    1. And I totally got off track with what I originally intended to write, and that is I’m just shocked by the haters in the comments! Truly. What the heck?! Good for you for not letting them bring you down!


      1. It has been crazy shocking but I am only shout louder!


    2. Now if that isn’t something bigger than us, I don’t know what is. I am sending you and your husband love, light and prayers for clarity in this season of the journey. It is so difficult. Thank you for your amazing words! Justine


  3. Lesley Pynel says:

    Hi Justine,
    I want to send you my support and thanks for your bravery in sharing your truth. I haven’t been in your position yet and I applaud you for saying that their ignorance only feeds your light.
    They are only commenting because they can. They have no idea what we’ve been through and they don’t want to understand.
    Brene Brown’s use of the Man in the Arena quote comes to mind. The comments of those outside the arena throwing stones don’t matter, what does mater are the thanks and support from those who know how hard it is and those of us who are in the arena with you.
    let’s keep that light shining!


    1. Thank you Lesley! You know me, this is only more motivating! Much love my friend! Justine


  4. I encourage everyone who feels compelled to participate in the conversation on Justine’s piece in the Huffington Post. This is a good opportunity for us to show our voice as a community.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, we need a rally on this one for sure!


    2. Good call! It took me a few hours to craft a response that was polite and respectful, but it’s up now. I’d like to say I’m surprised by many of these comments but sadly I’m not, not even a little bit. After subjecting myself to those comments I deserve a drink!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know right?!?! I think wine may be in store tonight! Thank you for your comment, it was perfect. ❤ Justine


      2. You definitely deserve a glass (bottle) of wine!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. lkgaddis says:

    Like others have stated, the comments you received on that piece are remarkably insensitive and out of line. While I can see the point some people are trying to make, the manner in which some people took that was extremely disappointing. I am saddened to see the loss of compassion and the desire to understand others’ experiences.


    1. I has been very disheartening, and yet motivating. Thank you for reading and commenting!!! J

      Liked by 1 person

  6. fayinfide says:

    10 years of trying, 2 more years of couple therapy, and 2 years later, I survived. But it will never be ok. And peace? No, I don’t think so. But showing up and living life? Yes I can finally do that. Your blog says it so much better than I ever could. Thank you for speaking out for those of us that can’t.


    1. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. And you are right, we must choose to show up and live! Thanks again! Justine

      Liked by 1 person

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