Penned Musings are posts based off of my daily writing prompts. You can read more here.

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“I don’t care.” she looks at me with eyes so full of pain I knew she meant it.

“Don’t care about…?” I ask her back with my eyebrows slightly raised leaning my body somewhat forward, exuding the love and blessing I desperately need her to feel from me but more so from herself.

“Anything.” she declares now more with a frustrated adamancy that I know as the stubbornness that is the suffocating stuck we can all feel in the dark.

“Then what made you show up today?” I question with love, curiosity and a tad of that I-know-the-answer-and-I-know-you-do-too sarcasm.

Her eyes shift downward as they fill with tears and her body relaxes softly into the dark brown leather of my couch. The geese fly overhead in the picture window of my office which makes it feel as if we are sitting in a sunlit washed tree house rather than a therapist’s office. The geese are practicing their V formation as I feel the shift of change both in the room and the season they are doing flight practice for.

Change of the work ahead.

Change of the glimmer of fear and faith of something better.

Change that she dreams, hopes and wants it to be different.

I across from her sit knowing the journey as I’ve walked it myself, some days still walking through the dark into the light and love of the life I choose.

Drowning the I don’t care.

Because I do.

2 thoughts on “Penned Musing: I Don’t Care

  1. BnB says:

    Well this just hit me in the feels!

    I know this feeling too well, too. For a long time I built up a wall of “I don’t cares”, partly as a defense mechanism, and partly because I really didn’t want to care. But I did care, and I still do. I’ve come so far, but there is still so far left to go. The work is hard, but worth it. Sending big hugs to your client because it sounds like she needs them!

    Like

    1. Oh I know this feeling all too well myself! Still have those times! Not one particular client, more like over half of them ;).

      Like

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