So many moments that would never be had my story turned out how I wanted…how I hoped, dreamed, and planned. 

I no longer torture myself with the, ‘I’d trade it all for them…’ Because it’s not helpful and doesn’t honor them. It doesn’t honor them because it doesn’t honor where and who I am now, in reality only because of our three

He knew better, He had better. 

I must, however, do the work to keep my heart open enough to receive this better He has for me. 

And so, I’ll love harder, fuller, and better because of them, honoring the mom they made me. 

And, I’ll mother anyone who wants to love this way too.

This week, I am so honored to have been here to witness my oldest friend’s second daughter come into this world, my namesake’s little sister, Alexandra. 

And, I am so grateful. 

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